Finding Life in Loss: Daddy's Girl

I was 10 years old at the time when he died. It was a rainy Sunday morning, my mother asked me to go downstairs and wake my father, he looked funny, strange, and almost lifeless when I approached him. When I looked at his face, shook him, screamed his name, I knew something was wrong. 

I began calling for my mother, hugging him for dear life, thanking God for a heartbeat, but I could tell life was slipping away. To my surprise, he was just unconscious, but his almost lifeless body and face laid impressed in my mind for years.

He made it that day, but a few weeks later he was pretty much released from the hospital to die. So, we took care of him at home, and just like that I watched him deteriorate. A few months after that, he died, and just like that he was gone. I still remember the night he died, I remembered feeling abandoned, not understanding the why.

The loss of my father was almost detrimental, but I immediately matured and became tough for my mother. I held it all in, buried it deep down inside, and threw away the key. It wasn’t until in my adult life, that I released how the loss of my father affected me. 

Losing anything or anyone can have various affects on anyone and sometimes the last person we think to run to is God. Sometimes we automatically assume God’s position on the subject matter of who lives and who dies. And if, we are not careful, we can harden our heart towards God, which makes it harder for us to ever heal.

I would love to announce that I was able to skip the process of grieving, and just immediately felt healed and restored. But, that would be the farthest thing from the truth. In fact, the truth is that through my losses of both parents, my relationship with God was established, tried, proven, re-established, and it just keeps going.

Losing someone is hard for anyone, but never lose sight of Jesus. I can honestly say God healed my heart. He kept me through every loss, and even when I didn’t understand, he never gave up on me. God was faithful to me, even when I was angry with him. God was love to me, when I thought I’d lost love forever. God allowed me to find life in my losses. 

In my losses, I found him. The depth of his love, the aroma of his glory, and the magnitude of his healing. If you or someone you know has or is dealing with the loss of someone they love, encourage them to run to God. At some point, they are bound to run into an encounter with him, and in that place they will find life in their loss.

To be continued…

Alicia HuleneComment